Archive for August, 2008


I don’t know how long this has been going, but today I read about 1-800-GOOG-411.  It’s a FREE directory service provided by Google (probably only for the USA).   All you need is a phone – and a need for a phone number.

It sure beats the $1.25 currently charged by the regular 411 directory inquiry service!

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Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child that is the inheritor of our fear. Let him not love the earth too deeply. Let him not laugh too gladly when the water runs through his fingers, nor stand too silent when the setting sun makes red the veld with fire. Let him not be too moved when the birds of his land are singing, nor give too much of his heart to a mountain or a valley. For fear will rob him of all if he gives too much.

Once again I found myself emotional when watching a movie about South Africa. And the above quote? I happened to be quietly teary just before that, but when James Earl Jones quoted that piece in the movie, I could not contain myself any longer and just broke down sobbing. My dear husband is so sweet and patient with me when I become overcome like that. I just could not get over how apt that quote is for me…”For fear will rob him of all“…and indeed it has. It was fear which drove me away from South Africa, which is still driving my friends and family away.  Will it ever stop?

The book was originally written in 1946, 2 years before apartheid became official, and already fear was shaping the nation.  I was born into that fear, nursed on it.  No wonder fear wracks through me still, even 10 years after being away from it.  It was almost as if Alan Paton could see into the future when he wrote that he wonders if love will be transformed into hatred.  I wonder what he would think if he were to see what South Africa is today.

I just have to read the book now.  The movie was powerful, but books are always better at capturing the nuances.

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Today is a date to remember.

SD called me on the kid’s cell phone. Of her own free will. That is the first time ever.


The kids are on vacation 8 hours away with their BM and Mom-Mom (or grandmother for all you non-US folks). SD called to say they are having fun, arrived in daylight yesterday, had time for a swim before bed time and will probably go to the amusement park today or tomorrow.

I am touched beyond belief. Not only did she call. But she just called to chat and to share some of her happiness.

While the kids hardly ever call their Dad when they are not with us, they certainly they NEVER call me. Wow. I guess we are making progress…little itty bitty steps.

Abbreviation descriptions can be found here.

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An open letter to all telemarketers and door-to-door salesman:

If I pay you the courtesy of answering my phone to an unknown number or opening my front door to a stranger and then actually listening to you, please return that courtesy.

If I ask for specific product information, please respect me enough, to provide the information I asked for.  Please do not continue to deliver your (badly memorised) irritatingly monotonous script.

If I then tell you I am not interested, please respect me enough to take me at my word and politely end the call or leave my property.  Please do not ignore my polite decline of product or services by talking over me and suggesting yet another ‘wonderful’ opportunity.

If you cannot respect me (and yourself) enough to honor my simple requests, I will simply reiterate my non-interest and politely end the call or quietly close my front door, even if you are still talking.

Thank you for your understanding that I will not be bullied, nor will I turn into a ranting mad woman, trying to enforce my basic human rights to a quiet respectful life.  Sadly, you do not yet realize that if you had treated me politely and genuinely, I probably would have listened to your spiel and possibly even purchased your product or service.  It wasn’t your product or service which lost you your sale, it was your continued blatant rudeness.

Have a nice day.

Yes, unfortunately, twice now in the past week, I found myself having to quietly, but firmly enforce my basic human rights.  It is with amusement that I note how most of these ignorant people really do not know how to deal with polite persistence and seem to be flabbergasted when someone actually puts down the phone or closes a door in their face, whilst remaining politely calm and serene.  They have only ever used strong-arm bullying tactics and I imagine are often met with retaliating tempers.  The serenity truly confounds them.  I am enjoying my new-found empowerment 🙂

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Oh wow!  Today’s Kabbalah’s Daily Tune Up really hit home:

There was a time, before you were born, when people didn’t make the connection between the dumping of toxic waste in the ocean and thousands of people becoming seriously ill from eating ocean fish.

It seemed as if a plague had hit. It was scary. People felt as if something awful was suddenly happening to them, something over which they had no control.

Eventually, through careful research and investigation, the connections between the toxic dumping, the fish, and the illnesses were made. Cleanup efforts began, and people stopped getting sick.

Chaos is the misperception that there are no connections. In fact, everything is connected. Everything.

Today, remember everything you do starts with you and ends with the world. Think before you speak or act. Your actions and words have everlasting effects.

It reminds me of the pebble thrown in the pond and the far reaching ripples.  And how a tiny insect at the edge of the pond knows not what caused the ripple that knocked him from his perch.  But make no mistake, there is a reason, there is ALWAYS a reason, even if we can’t fathom it.  It reminds me that we truly are ALL ONE.

What a timely and powerful reminder!

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Today from my Daily Kabbalah Tune Up email:

Judging from emails I’ve been getting from students, there are some of us who feel like we have never experienced ‘the Light.’

Let me tell you that you have. We all have, even though it may be fleeting.

Think of the moment you put the final touches on a project that you fiercely believed in, one that took lots of time and effort to complete. That rush of a job well done is the Light.

Or how about that time you thought of someone and they called just at that moment. That too is the Light. Or when you get a great idea or answer. That too is the Light.

So you have touched the Light. The more you look for it, the more you will find it.

Today, find the Light in everything you are doing. It’s there. Allow yourself to recognize it.

Have a delightful day.

Isn’t this wonderful?  The idea that we are continually “touching the Light”, except we just don’t know that we are.  There are many times where I know I’ve touched the light, but there are a few times that stand out with brilliance for me.

The first was soon after my ex-husband and I arrived in the UK.  I was feeling really down, homesick and bluesy and we were out with some friends we had just become friendly with.  They took us on a gentle hike, up a hill somewhere.  At the top we stood, looking down into the valley, almost entirely surrounded by magnificently tall pine trees.  As we stood there, I finally felt able to breathe deeply again and I took great big gulping breathes of the sweet pine scented air.  And then I felt this sense of peace pervading my body.  I felt like the trees were breathing life into me, blowing out the melancholy.  I felt my soul start to sing again.  And I felt tears of joy.  What sweet relief that the debilitating sadness had left me!  I kept saying over and over again, “Oh my gosh!  This is soul food!” (my companions thought I was funny and just laughed at me), but I recognized that I was having an intensely spiritual experience.  I later came to realize that those particular tears, were the tears I would experience every time I connected that deeply to the Light.  That was the very first time in my life that I experienced God (or The Divine) and it amused me no end that it was through nature and not through pompous churches and so-called church leaders.

The second was through Reiki.  I cannot remember the exact time sequence, but it was some months after I had completed my Reiki I course and I was doing the prescribed self-treatment.  It was also at a time when although I had developed some sense of energy, I was no where near as sensitive to energy as I am now.  So there I was doing my self-treatment, which until now had not been too remarkable and would usually just send me to sleep, and I had my hands over my chest and heart and suddenly that same sense of pervading peace and calm that I experienced from the trees, filled me.  It is a difficult sensation to describe and “filled me”  sounds to inadequate, but it really did fill me until I felt like I was completely filled, even overflowing, almost like I became one with the peace, like there was no lines and edges to my body, like I was just an energy mass.  This time though, there was also a sense of ecstasy and intense joy, I think because I recognized what was happening.  And again, the quiet joyful tears.

It is amazing to me that these 2 brief experiences have been so life changing for me.  They sustain me now, many years later, when I sometimes feel no hope and want to curl up in a ball and die.  I KNOW that I can reach that peace again, that “this too shall pass” and that I just have to hold out a little while longer and get just a little clearer.  And I KNOW without a doubt that there is “something else”, more than just this physical world we see. And I also KNOW that there are many paths to the Light and that no one is better or worse than the other.  It really is what works for the individual.

I feel so very blessed to have had these experiences and been able to develop these absolute knowings.

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