a higher Me / Spirit / God / your chosen Deity : Who are you?
me : Who do you want me to be?
That my friends is the eternal question. “Who are you?”
And the answer, my friends, is almost my entire problem. “Who do you want me to be?”I’ve realized that I define myself by what I think others want me to be. And then I get sick. Because if we do not honor who we truly are, we will get sick, we will sink into spiraling depressions, we will get horrible cancers that consume us and then kill us.
There are loads of old childhood reasons for why I do this. But at some stage, we all need to realize that no matter what the past, it is only we who can decide how we want our lives to be. And YES! we do have the power to determine our lives.
So my next question is “Who do I want me to be?”. And it is in this place that I struggle and have inner conflict. I know who I want me to be, however it is often in conflict with who I think you want me to be.
This is my work. The resolution of this conflict.
This is what came to me during my 15 minute meditation session this morning. Powerful stuff.
That’s the big question Nats. I struggle with the same thing. I don’t feel like I’ve got to where I have in life, by making any conscious decisions, I’ve just gone with the flow. Scary that!
The last time you came out here, I felt that you were more “together” than you’d been in a long time. What’s changed?
I struggled with this from the time my daughters were born in 2005 till about November of this year. I finally decided to screw what everyone else wanted me to be and be the person I am. Some people that are close to me really do not appreciate the change, but I am happy, and my daughters have a happy mom, in turn making them happy.