Yesterday my 6 year old step-daughter asks me if I’d noticed in her Brownie Carol singing outing (which happened a month or so ago), that there were kids who said they didn’t believe in Santa. Of course I feigned shock and said “No!” and innocently asked ” Well, what did you say?”. “Of course Santa is real!”, she apparently exclaimed.
That then led into a discussion (or lecture, whichever way you want to see it) that some people do not believe in things they cannot see. Like God and Jesus and the Tooth Fairy and Santa and Mother Earth and Father Time and the Sandman…it was kind of cute, really because we had just watched “The Santa Cause 3″ and all the mythical creatures gather together for a council meeting.
But this led me to thinking…
We (many westerners anyway) spend far too much time, money and energy perpetuating the Santa, Tooth Fairy and Eater Bunny myths. And then one day our kids find out we are liars – yes, LIARS. How is that possibly ok? What does that do to the trust the kids have for us? And what about those other times when we say “Trust me…”. Furthermore, we then expect our kids to continue to have blind faith that other unseen entities (God, Jesus, Buddha, Allah, pagan gods and goddesses etc) do in fact exist. Just because we say so. Huh? Oh wait, we have already admitted to a massive, global lie (for their own good, mind you). And now of course, these OTHERS are not a massive lie, they are the truth. Goodness gracious me…what complicated webs we weave for ourselves.
I am SO not at peace with this. How much longer do I perpetuate this lie and really, in the name of what exactly?
*** Edited to add *** Further analysis on this topic can be found at Urban Semiotic.
In the name of hope.
And in the name of fantasy. I believe that fantasy is very important in the development of a child.
And as for the time and money thing, if she didn’t believe in it, you’d still spend it. Because even though we don’t believe in it as adults, it’s still a magical time of the year… full of hope and promise.
Jenty, I agree with you that these things are magical and that fantasy is important for kids. But it is the BLATANT lying that is getting to me. It feels like we are teaching them that in certain circumstances it is ok to lie and not only that, but the circumstances are determined by us for someone else. This feels wrong to me.
I would much rather (…I think…still formulating my opinion) tell them that we are using symbols to denote something unseen, like the lights on the trees to bring light into the dark (northern) days and nights. And that gifts are about being thankful for all that we have and for the special people in our lives and about blessings for the coming year. And if you’re religious, that they signify the gifts that Jesus brought. As to how we would explain Santa from a symbolic point of view, I’m not sure. I think part of the problem is that a lot of us do not know the origins of the rituals we engage in and just blindly follow them because tradition says so. There just has to be a better way than blatant lies!